So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
