FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize