I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize