would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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