Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
