i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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