What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
