i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
