Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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