maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
