haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
