I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
