she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
