Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
