Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
