dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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