i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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