Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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