I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
