Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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