I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
