There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
