I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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