Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
