I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
