Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
