I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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