I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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