what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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