I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize