The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
