The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Is it because I queefed?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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