I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
