when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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