Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
