i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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