Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
