She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
