He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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