He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
