My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
