Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
