how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize