Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
