when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
