my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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