So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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