If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
