How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
