i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
