The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
