Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
