i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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