I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
foreskin is a definite game changer
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
