Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize