i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
