I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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