she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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