I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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