Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Randomize
