you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
