if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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