in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
