Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
