I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
