So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
