OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize