i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
