after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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