it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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