A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
